My Soap Box

Peanut Butter, Toys from China, Honey Chicken and Bicycle Helmets

2009-01-26T09:20:00.000-08:00

Wow, that title might seem to encompass a myriad of unrelated items, but actually, I believe that there is a common thread that runs through them all. I was inspired today, by a status update, and felt the need to once again express myself (Thanks Steve). This is actually a topic that I have been contemplating quite a bit lately, much of it due to my dear friend Amanda (I hope I'm still invited to your house this week when I'm finished--You know I love you bunches :) ) Before I begin, let me also offer the following disclaimer--Although I work with children everyday, I do not have any of my own yet--I realize that I might feel differently later. With that said, and if you are still reading after this exasperating preface, here goes.
I am constatly amazed at the amount of worry that is so prevalant in today's American culture. It seems to me that every day, there resenates a new headline from our television sets warning us of some prevailing danger that looms in our pantry, bathroom cabinet, toy box, or cupboard. A year of so it was toys from China. Better watch that lead. Also, who can forget the e-coli laced spinach and chives from few years ago. This worried the American populace so much that it even led to the unfortuate closing of Chi Chi's resteraunts across the nation. The past few weeks have brought panic over peanut butter. Once the staple of brown bags across the nation, even the humble PB and J is not safe from scrutiny.
I have a friend that will actually buy her one year old her own meal from PF Changs instead of letting her eat from her and her husband's plates. Her reasoning? They order honey chicken, and because of fear of botulinum poisoning, they must order their daughter something devoid of any sauce.
Here is what I said to her, and what I am saying to you. We need to stop freaking out every time we hear the latest breaking threat that escapes Katie Couric's lips (and this is hard for me too,because I am a worrier). If we don't, we are in danger of becoming a nation living in a proverbial plastic bubble.
Lets look back. When we were kids, how many of us had bicycle helmets? I know I didn't. Heck, I'm sure I even played with toys painted with lead paint at my grandparents house (My grandmother never pitches anything!) And, amazingly my friends, we have turned out pretty well. Just looking at my friends list,there are teachers, doctors, dentists, pharmacutical reps, attorneys, bankers, and market analysts. All in all, I think we have done well for ourselves---Lead paint, honey, helmetless heads and all.

Sometimes, a Prune is Just a Prune

2009-01-18T16:04:00.000-08:00

I am always amazed at the ability ofthe American people to sugar coat and spin doctor even the most minute of unpleasantnesses. Occationally, this ability falls into the category of good natured, well intentioned, euphamistic platitudes (it really does sound so much better to say that you "had to put the dog to sleep"---not, "the doctor jammed a big fat needle into Rover's vain and injected poison into him until his heart stopped beating.") However, I find that increasingly, our society has taken to sugar coating everything--Sometimes this deceptive thinking is just plain stupid, and other times, it is damaging.
Take for instance the new comercial that keeps popping up everytime I watch television. It advertisies Sun Sweet Singles. Featured, is a can of appealing looking sweet treats. Each is individually wrapped in much the same way one might imagine a Swiss chocolate. The beautiful people eating these confections (and they always are beautiful people, right?) ooh and ahh over how succulant and delectible the contents of these wrappers happen to be. However, it is revealed that inside this foil lining lies something far from Godivaesque--a lowly prune. Somehow, it seems to me that it doesn't matter how prettily you wrap it, or how succulant you tell me it is, or how much you refer to it as a "dried plum", sometimes a prune is just a prune.
As I am contemplating the prune (excuse me--dried plum) commercial, another equally halting commercial suddenly appears on the screen. This one advertises a new reality series soon to be featured on the WeTV. Granted, I am not a fan of the entire reality genre (something about these shows somehow seems inherently unrealistic to me) but this one really takes the cake (or I guess the tiara.) This series will follow a group of "pageant moms" and their children into the world of child beauty pageants. I'm sorry, but the whole premise really makes me want to hurl. Here we are with a group of women who most likely have achieved very little in their own lives, who want to get the hell out of the trailor park and live vicariously through their children. The dress them up in entirely too provocative of attire, attach a few hair pieces, dental devices (what seven year old doesn't have a missing tooth or too?) and top it all of with more makeup than a Mary Kay convention. They say that they are doing this not to fullfill some unmet selfish desire of their own, but instead to teach their little princesses poise and self confidence. I'm sorry, but the only thing these pageants are teaching is self centeredness, self indulgence, and a warped view of female sexuality. Some of these children look like they have a sign over their head that says "Please Molest Me." All the while their mamma yells, "Smile Baby." All I have to say is this. If you want to teach your child self confidence enroll your her in karate, or a dramatics class. Want your child to learn poise? Sign her up for ballet, or swimming. Just don't parade your child on stage like Brooke Sheilds in "Pretty Baby" and tell me that you are working on her self esteem. Because, sometimes, no matter how pretty the package, a prune is really just a prune.

Big Stupidity in a Small Town

2009-01-13T15:25:00.001-08:00

So apparently, we have some pretty stupid folks living here in Nicholasville. As I'm watching to new tonight, anxiously awaiting the weather report, the top story focuses in on my home town. Based on some unfortunate news stories that have occured in Jessamine County throughout the years, I have learned to cringe each time I hear news anchor Sam Dick mention my home town's name. Who can forget a few years ago when "Elvis" was arrested and paraded into court? And then there was the classic, "skinned cat found hanging outside local high school " story. And of course, when the a tornado hit my high school back in 1995, most of those interviewed were straight out of the local trailor park (no teeth, curler wearing, moo moo variety folks--by the way, the storm didn't even hit that part of the county) instead of hailing from the near by upper middle class subdivision that was also severely damaged. So needless to say, I was a bit apprehensive about what was to come next. Anyway, this deserves a place in the Redneck Jessamine Hall of fame. Apparently, some idiot decided that today looked like a prime opportunity to rob a bank. The only problem was, the building he tried to rob hasn't been a bank in several months. I guess he didn't bother to read the sign outside that clearly states that it is now the offices of the South Elkhorn Water District. The guy walks inside (which by the way has been totally remodeled, and looks nothing like a bank), bransdishes a gun and demands that the secretary hand over all the money. She informs the robber that unfortunately he is out of luck--the building is no longer a bank--and he doesn't believe her. How stupid! After repeating herself several times, the guy finally gets a clue and walks out. The police have yet to locate him. So, be on the look out. If you happen to work in a local, office, school, courthouse, or anyother vaguely bank like building--watch out! Lets just all hope that this guy has gone home not only empty handed and empty headed, but also empty of any ideas of a repeat performance. Hey maybe we will get lucky and he will try to rob the police station tomorrow!

Dirty Broccoli

2009-01-12T16:22:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I'm taking a poll. What would you do if you ordered steak and broccoli from a well know local eating establishment (which shall remain nameless) and as you are nibbling away at a meal , you notice something brown globbed on one of your broccoli flowrettes? I'm not talking a little brown speck that could be attributed to too much time in the steamer, or a bit of sauce from the steak sitting next to it on the plate. I'm talking about a dime sized glob of mud. Yes, mud. Anyway this happened to me last week, and I'm still not sure what to think. Should I have sent it back? Asked to speak to the manager? Let it go? I know what I did, but want to know what you think. At first, I was a little unnerved. My first inclination was to throw a hissy fit and ask for the manager. My friend (who also shall remain unnamed as well) who was dining with me told me that when she waited tables in college, she saw things like that quite often. I shouldn't say anything because, "it just happens sometimes, and the rest of your meal is delicious." So, being reserved as I am, I swiped the offending piece of broccoli to the side of my plate and remained quiet. Later, I asked a co-worker what she thought about the situation. She said that since her husband also used to work in the resteraunt industry, that she probably would sweep it under the rug as well. Another friend agreed with me that I should have spoken up, and they should have comped my meal. Anyway, here is the big question: Is it too much to ask that the food we are served be served dirt-free? I mean really, how hard is it to run the veggies under the faucet? And that being said, if a big ole dirt clod can find its way onto my plate, what else are we eating that we can't see? Hum, isn't that something to ponder. But in the grand scheme of things, I guess a little dirt never hurt anyone, and I guess I had better be thankful that that brown clod was mud, and not something else--At least lets hope not anyway.

Celebrity and Privacy

2009-01-12T16:20:00.000-08:00

As I am watcing the Golden Globes, I am reminded of and saddened by the death of Jett Travolta. With all the media coverage that has surround his death, I am also reminded of how self centered and intrusive our society has become. At the heart of this story is a grieving family. That's it--a family that has tragically lost a child. Yes,we all know their names, have seen their movies, lived vicariously through their celebrity, but does this somehow give us the right to be issued an all access pass into their private lives? I don't think so. If you Google "Travolta," you will find a myriad of debates about whether or not Jett was autistic. Here is my question: Why does it matter? He either was or he wasn't. The fact remains, he has mother, father, and sister that are grieving his death. Just because his father happens to have played Danny Zuko (I don't think I spelled that one right) or discoed on the big screen in Saturday Night Fever, doesn't mean that he has some sort of responsibility to share his son's presumed personal medical informtion with the world. The media seems to think that we, as American movie goers have some sort of God given right to know every detail of the lives of celebrities. We don't. No one would ever dream of expecting, requiring and demanding his or her next door neighbor to reveal details such as this about their child. In fact, if I was to ask my neighbor, "Hey, so, is your kid autistic or just weird?" I would be considered rude--and rightly so. If however, that person wants to reveal this information to me, so be it. Also, where do we as Americans get the idea that celebrities have some sort of responsibility to put their children up as poster children for any condition with which they may happen to be diagnosed? And, that not doing so, somehow makes them ashamed of their child. This is ludicris !I don't think the Travolta's were ashamed or embarrassed about Jett. Maybe they are just private. Maybe, they just want their children to have the most normal life as they possibly can. Is that too much to ask? Is this wrong? As American's we need to realize that celebrites are people just like we are. They have the same right raise their children in a safe, secure, and private world as the rest of us. Celebrities' jobs are to entertain us--not to give us unrestraind access to all aspects of their lives. Back off John Travolta and Kelly Preston. Let them and their daughter Ella grieve in peace.